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Warrior... Priestess... Tramp
|Season = 3 |Antagonist = Balius, Dexon |Setting = Greece |In-Universe Date = Year 3 |Production # = V0402 |Filming Dates = 15 May to 26 May 1997 |Original Air-Date = |Written By = Adam Armus &Nora Kay Foster |Story By = |Teleplay By = |Directed By = Robert Ginty |Order in Series = 55 of 134 |Order in Season = 9 of 22 |Order in Franchise= 129 of 304 |Prev Episode in Series = "The King of Assassins" |Next Episode in Series = "The Quill is Mightier..." |Prev Episode in Franchise = "If I Had a Hammer..." |Next Episode in Franchise = "Hercules on Trial" |title cap image = }} Xena and Gabrielle meet another Xena look-a-like, Leah. Meg shows up again, causing trouble (without knowing this time, thinking she was doing good). Xena must help Leah, who is a Hestian virgin, discover who is behind tricking her, and trying to kill the other virgins. Summary A group of thugs led by the battle-scarred Dexon is terrorizing a town one day when Xena arrives. Expecting a fight, Dexon is shocked when Xena throws down her sword, casts aside her warrior garb and urges him to give up his warrior ways. He immediately orders his men to grab her and they prepare to burn her at the stake. Hearing the news, Gabrielle rushes to the scene and is stunned when Xena starts babbling about how she must do whatever the Virgin Goddess Hestia ordains. As the flames rise higher, Gabrielle makes several attempts to help Xena escape and is baffled when her efforts are ignored. Finally, in an ingenious maneuver, Gabrielle manages to douse the fire, cut her friend loose and drag her away. Once the two are safe, Gabrielle learns that the woman she rescued is not Xena at all, but rather an identical look-alike named Leah, Head Priestess of the Hestian Temple. When Gabrielle brings Leah to meet the real Xena, Leah reveals that the goddess Hestia herself ordered her to confront Dexon in warrior garb she was given, and says she had no idea she'd be mistaken for Xena. Upon hearing her story, Xena is convinced that someone is using Leah's blind devotion to cause her harm, maybe even to kill her. They decide to take Leah back to the Hestian Temple to investigate but when they arrive, Thoracles, a temple guard, blocks their way. When Gabrielle explains that they've brought back Priestess Leah, Thoracles points towards the pulpit, insisting that Leah is already there leading worshippers in prayer alongside the High Priest Balius. When the "Leah" on the pulpit tries to liven up the crowd by telling a joke, Xena knows right away that she's actually Meg, the lusty barroom wench who is also a Xena double. Xena then sends Gabrielle and Leah to Meg's tavern so that Leah can hide out disguised as Meg. Xena then goes to confront Meg. Meanwhile, at Meg's tavern/bordello, Gabrielle transforms Leah into a sexy Meg disguise and when Joxer arrives, he mistakes her for Meg. Back at the temple, Meg tells Xena that Balius came to her with a sob story about how Leah disappeared and he desperately needed someone to fill in for her at a big ceremony that evening. Thinking she was doing a good deed, she agreed. Xena decides she must pose as Meg to find out who is trying to get to Leah and why. Instructing Meg to remain in Leah's chamber, she begins snooping around the temple in disguise and sneaks into Balius' room where she finds a star-shaped medallion in his dresser. When Balius surprises her and snatches it away, she tells him in her best Meg voice that she now knows he's not a Hestian priest and asks to be cut in on the action. But Balius simply threatens to kill her if she exposes him. A short while later, the real Meg inadvertently tells Balius that Xena has arrived and is convinced that someone is trying to kill Leah. She also reveals that Leah is hiding out at her tavern. Balius tells Meg that he still needs her to pose as the Priestess that night and informs Thoracles that he will have Leah killed at the tavern. When Xena runs into Meg again, Xena reveals that Balius is really a Deilian who despises the Hestians and is planning to destroy not only Leah, but the other Hestians as well. When Thoracles tries to sneak up on Xena with a knife, she puts the "pinch" on him and learns that Balius intends to carry out his evil plan that night. Later, with the help of Gabrielle, Meg's girls and her two look-alikes, Xena (still posing as Leah) defeats the temple guards when they launch their attack on the tavern. Realizing that Joxer has gone to the temple to save Leah (really Meg), Xena and Gabrielle prepare to rescue him. In the tavern, Balius waited until the rest were gone before he captured Meg (really Leah). Believing that Leah is Meg, Balius demands that she perform at the ceremony that night. Later at the temple, Balius and Thoracles prepare poison for the Hestians to drink while instructing Meg (really Leah) on what she must do. While Leah (really Xena) pretends to be captured by Thoracles at the gate, was locked into the prison cell. She then took out the guard and rescued Joxer as both of them proceeded to the ceremony. As the ceremony commences, Meg (really Leah) hesitantly recites a message in the Hestian language, then watches as the virgins drink their wine and collapse to the floor. Balius immediately calls for the crowd to abandon Hestianism in favor of Deilianism, declaring that their religion is obviously dead because the goddess Hestia herself killed those closest to her. But when Meg (really Leah) delivers a second message in Hestian, the virgins suddenly rise and simultaneously spit out their wine. Balius realizes that he's been duped by Leah. Just then, Xena attacks Balius and his guards. Balius sneaks off with Leah to kill her but Xena follows and defeats him. In the end, Leah concluded the ceremony by thanking Xena and Gabrielle, whilst admitting her prejudice towards them were misrepresented. And in addition, she believes that Gabrielle would be a great virgin. Disclaimer "Despite another Xena look-alike, the gene pool (or rather gene puddle) was not harmed during the production of this motion picture." Background Information * The character of Leah was based on The Church Lady from Saturday Night Live. Links and References *Lucy Lawless as Xena/Leah/Meg *Renee O'Connor as Gabrielle Guest Stars *Ted Raimi as Joxer *Macgregor Cameron as Balius *Matty J. Ruys as Dexon *Ted Clark (credited as Ted Clarke) as Thoracles *Megan Nicol as Hestian Virgin #1 References People Gods Places Other Season Navigation de:Kriegerin...Priesterin...Vagabundin Category:XWP Season 3 episodes Category:Parody Episodes Category:Episodes Featuring Joxer